I believe true interior style comes when you make your home your own, which means ditching the magazine ‘must-haves’ and ‘latest’ trends to follow your gut instead.
What makes your heart sing? If candy stripes and glitter are your thing, then go for it; it’s your little corner of the world, no one else’s.
But there are a few design details I’ve come across in my work as head judge on the BBC’s Interior Design Masters, and as the former editor of Elle Decoration, that I simply have to veto as they make a home look seriously dated.
And yet I see all these tired trends again and again, which means you probably have no idea of the bad impression they send out. So whether you’re trying to sell your house or simply hoping to impress at your next drinks party, here are 11 interior features that belong in the decor rubbish dump…
A ‘pop’ of colour
I hate this phrase to the point that it makes my hair curl. I don’t know when it started but I hear it a lot today, as if it’s the salve to all decorative problems. It’s not. You shouldn’t have a ‘pop’ of anything in your home. This implies shock, not subtlety.
Instead, colour should flow from room to room like a soothing balm that takes you on a restful journey. One wall in a single bright is like wearing a button badge on your lapel that says: ‘I’m quirky!’ No, just odd. The one exception would be a downstairs loo where you’re allowed to open the door onto something decidedly ‘other’. It works here because it is contained.
Feature alcoves
Several years ago, ‘feature’ walls and alcoves were all the rage. But today, it’s all about drenching a room, not half-hearted runs of personality. Whether colour or paper, whatever you choose has to cover more than one wall, preferably a minimum of three.
Mural scenes are the hot ticket now when it comes to prints, and painting the ceiling is the top of the decorative tree — it’s the fifth wall, make use of it.
The point is, if you’re going to invest in wallpaper, you need to choose the full-fat option.
Running a tentative half roll down either side of a fireplace does not a commitment to decoration make. If you love it, flaunt it! Only want to use a little bit? You do not like it enough.
Wall-to-wall carpet
There was a time in the 1960s when carpeting in every room was the height of modern luxury. Whereas now, it’s fine for bedrooms (the thicker and plusher the better) and up a set of stairs (cushions the sound), but completely verboten anywhere else.
To walk in off the street and straight onto a soft floor covering is to invite all manner of bacteria into your home. You can ask all and sundry to ditch their shoes the moment they step over the threshold, but good luck training pets to wipe their paws, too. Much better to have a hallway finish you can easily mop, then go for wood, stone or ceramic elsewhere.
Going for grey
It’s just one step up from magnolia yet somehow, in the past decade, grey has taken over as the purportedly ‘stylish’ choice for homes. Nope. It’s just a newer version of bland. A non-colour. OK for school jumpers, and hair, but definitely not homes, as it’s wildly unflattering.
On walls, it drains the energy from a room. On carpets, it recalls a Holiday Inn.
Unframed artworks
Absolutely any picture, from an Athena poster to something your kid scrawled, via an original Picasso sketch, looks better properly framed. Add a border and you’re cooking. Unframed pictures are like crop tops and backless shoes — you’ve been ripped off because half of the item is missing.
Maybe it was cool in your student dorm to Blu-Tack a poster of The Smiths to the wall, but we’ve moved on from then.
So, find a local framing shop or pick your faves from the high street, but frame your treasures you must. Wood or metal frames only though please.
Open-plan layouts
Urgh, these are draughty, dusty and tricky to decorate, especially the ubiquitous (and utterly anti-cosy) glass box kitchen extension.
Where once we clamoured after the ‘sense of spaciousness’ and multi-functionality that open-plan living promised, now we understand the beauty of rooms, aka individual spaces for individual pursuits.
With walls and doors that block sound and provide privacy. No noise-cancelling headphones required, no constant view of the kitchen sink. Genius.
Fussy pelmets
A pelmet is a wooden frame or fabric border that sits above a window.
Historically, they were installed to hide curtain rails and prevent draughts. Today they are seeing a resurgence, but I maintain that a curtain track (rather than a rail from which drapes are hung) and pencil-pleated curtains (tight, narrow gathers that cover the track by default) are the way to go. Neat, streamlined and without any unnecessary (read: naff) bother or fabric.
True, a draught could still escape and you won’t achieve total darkness. But for style points, go without, and buy a decent sleep mask instead.
Rubbish radiators
Radiator companies have long been on a quest to make these inefficient beasts trendy.
You can buy flat ones, refurbished Victorian ones (more expensive than modern ones), brightly coloured ones, and even curly-whirly ones. All of which is a distraction from the truth: radiators are rubbish at keeping British houses warm.
Sure, they pump out heat, but most of it will disappear out of the wall behind, if not the window under which most are inexplicably placed, while the rest dehydrates you to a hoarse, demotivated crisp.
The solution? Underfloor heating. Better for you, more efficient, lower bills, and clear walls. You’ll have to find somewhere else to dry your knickers, though.
Identikit cushions
By this, I mean a set of covers with the same material, colour and texture, and woe betide you if you karate chop them in the middle like a fabric fortune cookie.
Cushions are a chance to indulge in the wonder of print and pattern, texture and tactility. Use everything from a wool bouclé to embroidered velvets, trim with tassels and ribbons and mix and match linen, satins and silks.
Caveat: as long as you stick to one palette of shades (I’d say four core colours max) and vary these only by intensity of hue. In other words, if one of your colours is pink, you could use pale rose through to fuchsia, whether patterned or plain.
Three-piece suites
No one does this any more because it’s boringly matchy-matchy. You can have a pair of matching sofas though.
And as many different chairs as you might have room for; albeit one is usually enough if you have multiple sofas. Otherwise, have a pair of chairs, but feel no compulsion to match them.
Or match the shape but upholster them in different fabrics, and sprinkle liberally with cushions.
Black basins and taps
It was cool for about a minute, and then people realised that black basins, loos and taps were impossible to keep clean and a pain to repair, especially as manufacturers discontinued their ranges.
Some things just have to be white — sanitary ware is number one, with towels, toilet paper, and crockery also on that list. Never bedsheets though, as there is nothing intrinsically posh about white sheets.
Hotel bedlinen is only white so they can bung it as one load into industrial washing machines – when it comes to your own home, it’s time to have fun.
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