If thin is in and being fat is not only a “moral failing” but, leaves you on the outside of style, then how can a plus size woman be or create anything aspirational? As with all things aesthetic; the fashion industry, the interior design industry, hell – real estate agents, car sales people, etc. – “living the dream” is the goal.
Once industry is behind art and the barometer of success is selling, the quickest way to attract a consumer is desire. As a girlie pop coming of age in the 90’s and 2000’s, watching the Style Network religiously and listening to style pundits gripping a microphone with it pressed into a designers face back stage, I remember nearly everyone being interviewed talking about fantasy. “Fashion is about fantasy darling!” Designers would have elaborate back stories about “who this girl is” – the girl being the customer as represented by the model.
I was a chubby kid. It began around the second grade. I remember adults in my life gushing over how beautiful I was as a small child. Suddenly, everyone seemed concerned. I had no idea why at first. “Oh it’s just baby fat, she’ll lose it”, they’d say to my mother in front of me. But where’s the baby? I’m a very sophisticated 2nd grader with a wildly important Highlights magazine subscription. The compliments felt less and less as I went through puberty but I had an amazing mom. I was swaddle in love and affirmed constantly. I outgrew the awkward phase, not the chub.
The more my interest in fashion grew, I quickly learned that the category was not chubby teen. No one in dELiA’s catalog looked anything like me. Nor did they in Seventeen magazine or on MTV or (insert ominous music here)… in the entire world?! Ya, ya all the trauma of teen girlhood but, it made me defiant. I’m going to look good gotdammit. It made me scrappy. Going to the mall with my tall size 0 high school bestie was brutal at first, watching her try on any and everything with delight. I stopped following her around and started to wander off on my own, deciding that I’m not here to spectate, I’m going to dig and find myself in these stores.
I’d go into the men’s section, into thrift stores (not so cool at the time) and into stores that had clothing that looked more like my mom and aunties than me. I wasn’t picking up the first thing that I saw thinking ok, this fits so I guess this is it? It became a challenge. To see. To have vision. I will look at every single item of clothing on every single one of these racks and find the things to make me look like me. Whoever that was at any given moment. She’s grungy, preppy, classic with a twist, she’s a trend monster and avant garde – all the things living inside someone who can appreciate style in all it’s forms.
Photo: Kaye Mcoyy – From: Vogue.com
Shopping has never been easy for me. It’s always been time consuming, uncomfortable, inconvenient and often unfruitful. Little did I know, I was fortifying the ultimate skill set and will to find the best furniture and home decor. Flea markets, FB Marketplace, in vintage shops and even at mass retailers – that will to sift for a score has been key. Digging through the clutter and being able to see the good stuff in a sea of ‘no’s” along with how to use it and how it can support other things I’d purchased has played such a huge part in my approach to sourcing and design. I’ve figured out how to “get the look” when things are out of budget (aka not in your size).
I began to study beautiful rooms I saw in magazines and on Pinterest to dissect what I like about them. I would be analytical order to take inspiration without it being a carbon copy, a skill I developed through getting dressed because control c was never an option when taking style inspo from the fashion industry. I learned to add my personal style into spaces (aka outfits) without the ability to just replicate. Through years of trial and error, I’ve developed a deep understand of color, proportions, textiles, a willingness to experiment and to get it wrong. A hill I will die on is that any plus size, fat, chubby etc. person you see dressing impeccably with true personal style is equally yoked with any fashion elite thin person with all of the access in the world. I found myself through fashion and so many of the “rules” apply in design. The journey continues.
Photo: Marcus Meisler – From: HGTV Handmade
If ever curious, I have a Youtube channel where I share loads of decor content and a new BTS more personal vlog channel as well. For those who like links to things I have and or love, they are on my LTK!
Love you, mean it!
Kellie
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